Last night started a series of #wins for me…
I went home for the first time in 6 days…yeah, you read that right-6 days sleeping in my truck due to my anxiety… I made it through the night at home with minimal anxiety and minimal desire to rush out the door to the closest hospital.
I hung around while dinner was being cooked instead of isolating myself. I fell asleep before it was finished, but I was there in the kitchen during about half of the cooking.
I got 11 hours of sleep last night.
I woke up this morning and actually brought a plate of the food that was cooked last night with me to my outpatient PHP class today.
I actually ate some of the food that was cooked at home while I was at group today.
I also ate the entire styrofoam box portion of the meal they serve us at lunch during group. Didn’t touch the salad or cookies.
I am bringing home 2 rolls from te lunch trays and my goals are:
1) eat at least one of the rolls at home but try for both of them.
2) stay home after I eat the roll(s) and don’t go sit in the hospital parking lot.
I only had 2 ARFID/anxiety related/fueled thoughts while eating today.
Instead of calling my mom for reassurance because I was freaking out after eating, I called to give her a progress report and let w know about all of my wins and the fact that I had eaten 2 actual meals today and wasn’t freaking out.
I have my first private therapy session in about 1 hour.
I weigh 104 pounds today. Which is better than 2 days ago. I have 2 weeks to gain 5 pounds. If I don’t gain 5 pounds I will have to go to a residential eating disorder treatment facility–which the idea of, terrifies me. If I do gain the 5 pounds, I get to stay in my current treatment program. I am DETERMINED to win this battle.
🎼This won’t kill me I won’t let it
“Black & Blue” by Sick Puppies
I’d say this is all considered improvement and success.
#Wins #determined #endthestigma #youarenotalone #Successes #BabySteps